So I lived in Oulu from January to May 2014. It was my first Finnish winter. It was tough.
Temperatures fluctuated around -10 deg cel. The lingering darkness, beautiful snow, horrid slush and all that menacing ice, always, everywhere. One gets used to the cold, one learns to live with the snow and slush and ice, but the darkness, oh the deep darkness, it gets to you…
So what was winter in Oulu like? What was -10 deg cel like? It meant either thermal wear, a fleece jacket or thick wool sweater, plus a puffy winter jacket. It meant thick wool socks, fleeced-lined gloves or wool mittens. It meant fleece-lined winter boots with thick rubber soles for good friction. It meant strong coffee. Sauna. And a whole lot of moisturiser.
Now I admit I could have tried harder, but it was difficult for me to experience, let alone appreciate Oulu amidst the wintry cold and dark. Then, I missed what was familiar to me. I missed home. I missed Singapore a lot.
So what was it that I missed about Singapore? I missed concrete pavements, green grass and the warmth of the sun. I missed shiny skyscrapers, shiny malls and shiny buses. All the sights and sounds familiar to me. And Singapore is that perfect mix of air-conditioned air with a faint whiff of air freshener and fried food…
Maybe the difference between tropical Singapore and arctic Finland was too much for me. I must mention here that I did try to go running once with spikes on my shoes. It was absolutely terrifying. But I live to tell the story. Achievement unlocked.
But so I survived my first Finnish winter and spring finally arrived. Lo and behold, I saw the sun again after a long, long time. The first few days of spring were filled with disbelief. Is that really what I think it is? The sun? Is that grass? Then when the first summer flowers start to bloom, it really instils in you a sense of awe for mother nature. Amazing grace. Stayin’ alive. Don’t stop believin’. It’s one of the greatest lessons that Finland has taught me.
Nowadays when folks ask me about Oulu, I always say that it’s a small but nice and friendly university town. I’m not so sure about Oulu. I feel that I never really gave it a chance. Everyone knows that it’s cold and dark further up north. It’s a fact of life in Finland. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible.
So something funny happened to me this year during Vappu (Finland’s May Day or Labour Day), I found myself missing Oulu as I was walking around Kaivopuisto in Helsinki. I missed a kind of Vappu in Oulu.
Now wait a minute. If I moved again to somewhere else, am I going to reminisce Helsinki or Vantaa, where ever I might be? Am I just romanticising? Is it just irrational nostalgia? More importantly, am I just imagining certain things to be better and certain things to be worse? Maybe it’s actually all about resisting change. But I believe that change is good. I think life is about change. Maybe I could give life a chance?
So is this the law of homesickness? When you get away, you get closer. When you travel, you go home.
So you need to uproot, to leave your hometown, and try living in a new environment. It’ll be challenging at the beginning. You’ll start to miss home. Then you will realise what ‘home’ means to you, you will discover your relationship with it, you’ll find out what you liked about it and also what you didn’t. You’ll fantasise about a perfect home. One day, you’ll find a new ‘you’ in your new home. Slowly, the homesickness will fade. You’ll start to like your new home and the new self that you’ve fought for. Soon enough, you’ll acclimatise, you’ll embrace your new life on foreign soil, you’ll grow roots, thrive and eventually bloom.
“Homesickness is not always a vague, nostalgic, almost beautiful emotion, although that is somehow the way we always seem to picture it in our mind. It can be a terribly keen blade, not just a sickness in metaphor but in fact as well. It can change the way one looks at the world; the faces one sees in the street look not just indifferent but ugly….perhaps even malignant. Homesickness is a real sickness- the ache of the uprooted plant.”
– Stephen King, The Breathing Method
Note to reader:
Vappu is a special day for the student in Finland. The origins of this tradition are unclear but it is a combination of celebrating spring, the white graduation hat and the international labour day. Every town in Finland celebrates it in their own way and in Helsinki, the place to be is Kaivopuisto. It is basically a time to get together with your friends to organise an alcoholic picnic. Sounds fun, doesn’t it?
For the engineering students in Oulu, it is the time of year to sabotage freshmen and watch them jump into chilly rivers in ridiculous costumes, it’s a part of their orientation package. Check out their facebook page “Wappu Oulussa“.
I remember how large groups of university students filled the little town with their colourful overalls, white hats and spontaneous revelry. The annual ‘baptism’ of freshmen from the local university was in progress, the spirit of Vappu was in the air, and it was time to party. It was a special day at OAKK, our classes ended earlier and we roamed around Oulun keskusta (Oulu city centre) together to experience the festivities. We were wandering around the local park along the river, then when we were walking around the market square, it started to snow, ever so gently. Soft, light and moist snow.
“Snow in May”, someone had muttered.
I like to remember that moment.
So I’m sorry Oulu, and thank you. 🙂
Meanwhile in FINLAND... 